Boys As Victims of Girl Bullying and Moral Solutions

Bullying is a daily occurrence and may occur accidentally or deliberately. However, it’s natural for boys to bully boys and girls tend to bully other girls. In a civil society,

we consider it cowardly and unseemly for a boy to bully a girl, but do we care that girls bully boys?

Apparently, on an objective scale, bullying is bullying, whether perpetrated by a boy, a girl being the victim, and vice versa.

In the natural world, it’s routine for the man to be viewed as physically, emotionally and socially superior when compared to the woman. The traditional patriarchal society placed the man at the top of everything, with the woman being considered and treated as a weaker being. Many were instances where the woman had no rights for expression or empowerment. In some societies, the will of the woman was treaded and her identity was overlooked. Some communities did not educate the woman, while in others, she could not drive. Yet in others, she could not vote or contest for a political seat even if deserved or qualifying. To counter these incivilities and in the push for equality, many countries have gradually instituted laws, principles and policies that have sought to empower the woman of today. But to some extent, have we forgotten the boy child?

Today, at home or in schools, boys are still seen as the only capable for bullying. Teachers and parents fail to see through the mask and detect an ailing boy in the hands of the girl. In their own nature, boys are taught to exercise ‘masculinity’ which entails perseverance amid suffering in the name of being a man. Boys are today suffering silently while forging a fake smile that all is fine. Sometimes, the boy is subject to bullying by a girl. However, due to fear or shame, he chooses to hide his plight.

Overshadowed by ego, men are embarrassed to share their plight in the hands of women for various reasons. Firstly, he avoids the terror of being viewed or ridiculed for being “less of a man” after reporting that a woman bullied him, or struck him and drew some blood. Secondly, who will believe him? Women are believed to be vulnerable and almost incapable of perpetrating such violence, like afflict pain in men. In some communities, it’s taboo or unmanly for a man to be bullied by a woman. Consequently, he chooses to suffer in silence and hopping that no one witnessed the terrible ordeal.  The same happens among adolescents who would rather suffer in silence than risk the torment of being ridiculed by girls. It’s unlikely that a parent would believe that the daughter bullied another person’s son. Thirdly, many countries have implemented several laws that seek to secure the girl from toxic masculinity. While this is essential, it has rendered the boy somewhat insecure. For instance, a girl might slap a boy on the cheek and this may look alright. However, if the boy happens to slap back the girl, this appears chauvinistic and cruel. The legal bigotry is real, and the girl might walk scot-free, having instilled pain to the boy, while the boy might have faced the wrath of juvenile law.

While gender equality is justifiable, it’s important to ensure that a balance is achieved. Otherwise, boys will continue to suffer under the hidden bullying antiques of girls with nowhere to seek a reprieve.

What needs to be done?

Whenever we hear of a bullying case, we imagine a big, rough and tough boy muscular than others, and who beats or commands smaller boys and girls to clean his muddy shoes, or takes their lunch money without question. It’s important to acknowledge that bullying is non-gendered and anyone (despite their sexual orientation) can be the victim or villain. The fact is, we must make sure that schools, homes and other places that children interact feel safe for everyone, regardless of their gender. Assisting children to acknowledge that bullying is bad and girl bullying boy is equally unacceptable is an important way to support the deserved development opportunities for every child. The following steps are essential in solving girl bullying boy problems.

  • Encourage talking – Boys mostly endure girl bullying due to lack of courage to speak about it. They thus suffer in silence hoping that it will end. However, it’s important for the parent and the teacher to observe abnormal behavior in the boy’s behavior and talk to him. On realization that he is a victim of bullying, actions should always be taken. This will help them realize that any form of bullying is wrong and undeserved. Anonymous reporting may also encourage reporting.
  • Teach him how to handle situations without aggression – it’s important to instill your son with the mechanism of self-defense against bullying by girls. While this may not directly imply fighting them off, it may entail having some self-defense language to push them off or diffuse their bullying intentions. For instance, instead of just keeping quiet whenever approached by the bullies, he might use words like “I don’t have time for this” while smiling and walking away. This and other fun and clever antiques when used every time to diffuse bullying intentions will gradually equip the boy with some form of control over the bullies,  without necessarily resorting to aggression.
  • The teacher should verbally and practically address the problem – while adults, including teachers, consistently remind boys that it’s wrong to bully girls, it’s essential to note that the issue of girls bullying boys is rarely if ever, addressed at home or at school. The lack of giving this problem its deserving attention and recognition leaves children with the idea that it’s really not a big deal for a girl to bully a boy. However, today, many adults understand that this problem exists and it must be addressed. The teacher should thus always speak about it, condemn it publicly and address every issue involving this form of bullying without taking any of it lightly. This will help boys gain the confidence of reporting their bullying experiences at the hands of girls.
  • Give counseling to the boy to help rebuild his confidence – being victim to girls bullying can ultimately lead to the boy fearing girls, or being shy in their midst even in adulthood, and have troubles in his marriage life

For more information on how to better address the case of girl bullying boy, click here.

Last Updated on September 12, 2021